Friday, March 6, 2009

Did you hear me vacuuming last night?

I have told several folks that my sleep patterns have changed dramatically since I got pregnant. Where it used to take me a while to get to sleep, I lay my head down and it seems like I'm immediately OUT!

Night before last Shooter and I were laying in bed watching TV. Well, I was watching "Lie to Me" and he was surfing the internet. After laying there, half sitting up, for a while my tummy started to hurt so I rolled over onto my side. NOT A GOOD CHOICE!! I vaguely remember handing Shooter the remote and then I was OUT!

Apparently, some time after I slipped into my nightly coma, Shooter got up and went about his nightly ritual of letting the dogs out, checking the locks on the doors, and then coming and turning on the vent fan in the bathroom. See, even though I sleep the sleep of the dead, I have to have some kind of ambient noise going on. Well, this night the fan wouldn't come on so Shooter goes to get our vacuum cleaner so he can vacuum out the crud. I remember none of this, mind you! I do, however, VAGUELY remember opening my eyes a wee slit and thinking that perhaps he was in there vacuuming and wondering what the heck he was doing and then immediately fell back into my coma-like state.

The next morning he asks me if I heard him vacuuming the night before. I recount the little bit that I remembered and all he could do was laugh at me. He said that he thought for sure it would wake me up and couldn't believe it when he came out of the bathroom and found me DEAD TO THE WORLD!!

People, I can't even begin to explain how deep my sleep is. When I wake and have to go pee, which mercifully is only about twice a night right now, I am in such a stupor that I stumble like a drunk into the bathroom. Before I climb into bed I make sure my pathway to the bathroom is free from shoes or other obstacles that might cause me to careen out of control into the bed or dresser. I think I might have even fallen back to sleep on the toilet one night. It's completely out of control, I'm telling you!

My biggest worry is that I won't snap out of this craziness when the baby comes and I'll never hear him crying. Wouldn't that be sweet justice though, every time he cries Shooter has to wake first and then wake me up. BWAHAHAHA!!'s to another coma-like night's sleep!



the cubicle's backporch said...

Wow, I've always heard of pregnant people NOT being able to sleep, you must be one of the lucky ones!

That's funny thought that Shooter vacuumed and you slept right through it. Whew!

April said...

I *wish* I was sleeping that heavy! It seems since I became pregnant, I've become a LIGHT sleeper! And often when I wake up to pee, I can't fall back to sleep (like last night...watching tv from annoying!)! UGH!

Camille Platt said...

that's hilarious. i've started falling asleep with things in my hand (like little earplugs just in case my hubs starts snoring) and i'll wake up the next morning still holding them. THAT'S deep sleep.