Thursday, February 21, 2008

An interview with the Schnauzers

I'm in love with Dlyn's interviews, so I sat the Terrorists down to an interview last night after the lunar eclipse.

I saw Morey and thought I'd talk to him first. You can see he's quite attentive and very ready to answer all of my poignant questions.

Interviewer: "So, Morey, how are you feeling these days? I read on one of the gossip blogs that you're rumored to be heading off to rehab...any truth to those rumors? I know you've not been feeling quite yourself and perhaps had gone to the vet for "exhaustion". We're just concerned."

Morey: "I refuse to stoop to your insignificant level and answer that question. As you can tell, I feel perfectly fine. I do not see any reason why I would have to go to rehab. Regardless, I won't go, go, go."

Interviewer: "Well, I'm just doing my journalistic duty and asking you the tough questions. On another note, it appears that you've really let yourself go. I know the shaggy look is in, however don't you think that this is a bit extreme?"

Morey: "Scruff is in, don't you know? Personally I am a bit put out with my unkempt appearance. The real rub is that I do not possess opposable thumbs so I cannot dial a phone and ring up my groomer. Therefore I am at the mercy of you, my owner, to call the groomer and to then drive me to my appointment. Perhaps you could call them now, hmmmm?"

Interviewer: "Absolutely, we'll head off this weekend and get you all neatened up. So, I also wanted to chat with you about the army that you and your sister have formed - The Squirrel Eradication Force - are you actively recruiting new members and how are your efforts working as far as lowering the population of squirrels?"

Morey: "Well, Leah is much more involved in The Squirrel Eradication Force than me. I am truly more of a lover than a fighter, but I never pass up the opportunity to bark after and threaten one of those tree dwelling, demon spawn vermin. Perhaps you should speak with Leah for more information on TSEF."

Interviewer: "Okay...I'll go see what info I can get from her. You've been wonderful to talk to."

Interviewer: "So Leah, what would you like say about TSEF today?"

Leah: "TSEF...I am not sure of what group you are referring to."

Interviewer: "Well I understand you you and Morey are co-founders of The Squirrel Eradication Force. I was hoping to speak with you regarding your promotion and recruitment of members as well as your eradication tactics."

Leah: "I do not speak to outsiders about TSEF. It is on a need to know basis and you do not need to know. All you need to know is that we are always looking for Schnauzers who are looking to join our ranks."

Interviewer: "Okay, I completely understand your need for privacy and security regarding your organization. So, perhaps I can speak with you regarding the rumor that you once had children?"

Leah: "Do I have to answer this question? This is so tiring."

Interviewer: "So, are the rumors true?"

Leah: "Perhaps I will let you leave with your ankles intact."

Interviewer: "There's no need to get personal. I just asked a question."

Leah: "I do not like speaking about these alledged puppies. I am done with this interview"

Well, as you can see, Leah can get a bit testy.

Happy Thursday everyone!


Di said...

Dude...Riley wants to join TSEF !!! They would sit on the tree outside out old house mere INCHES from him and torment him so much he woudl bop his head on the glass trying to get to them..oblivious to the fact that there was GLASS between he and the vermin with the flicking tail.

Di said...

PS: 2 triple espressos DO NOT make for good spelling or talking...

Lottifish said...

Leah did not look like she was in the mood to be interviewed. Lol.

Vanessa said...

OMG too funny! Please warn better about the level of hilarity to ensue because I, once again, sprayed the laptop with wine as I was laughing. TSEF? You have to read my post on this! I think I did it back in Nov-Dec, I'll send you the link. And yes, they look a little straggly, but mine do too. The sadder part of that situation is my mother is their Day Spa Groomer/coordinator. Yes, she owns a doggie day spa. Yes they need haircuts as much as Leah.

Ok, Where Was I? said...

Too funny. I have three members of the TSEF. Thank goodness they are highly unsuccessful though.

dlyn said...

I made sure to let Riley read this and he is very impressed. he wants to know if your canines would like to join the UPSMEF [UPS Man Eradication Force]. After all the UPS Men are gone, he may think about seeking admission to the TSEF. He doesn't like to spread himslef too thin. ;)

for a different kind of girl said...

Isn't the first rule of TSEF you don't talk about TSEF? It was pretty ballsy of ya to try and get those two to bark up some information!

I LOVE miniature schnauzers. I had two growing up and am always looking to find one now. Their pictures and their furry little faces. Melt!