Overheard - in the middle of the night....

Two nights ago, at approximately 3:30am ET the following conversation took place:

Me: *wakes up a bit, wrinkles nose, determines one of the dogs farted, shakes head, goes back to sleep*
Shooter: *wakes up a bit, wrinkles nose* What the hell is that smell???
Me: Who? What? Fell? Who fell? Did you fall out of bed?
Shooter: Smell!! Smell that? What is that?
Me: Oh. I smelled it too. I think one of the dogs farted.
Shooter: Dude...that's no fart. That plain smells like ass.
Me: *lifts the covers to find Morey* Son of a.....I'm gonna kill that dog. *Spies a big pile of dog vomit on the sheet next to her*
Shooter: Ha! At least it's on your side this time.
Me: Yea, and he's lucky I didn't roll over - he'd be looking for another home. He's walking a thin line as it is.
Shooter: Here let me get you a towel.
Me: I have one right here...just waiting for the opportunity to mop up one of his stanky butt piles of vile vomit.
Shooter: Oh well...we needed to wash the sheets anyway...
Me: *rolls eyes* Whatever...get the comforter, I'm too tired to find another sheet.





I love my dogs....I really do.....if I keep repeating it I'll believe it.

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Oh....and yesterday (while I was working from home) I rescued three kittens from my backyard. They're adorable and one is still at home with me. I kinda wanna keep it...but kinda don't. I haven't decided. Here are pics of them.

I have this little guy at home right now. He's so cute and such a snuggler...they all were actually. The dogs just don't know what to make of them being in the house though. It was a crazy day.

Later lovelies!

L.

Overheard on bus....

Okay...so I arrive at the bus the morning and I am satisifed to say that I parked LEGALLY today...as opposed to every other day this week where I had to park ILLEGALLY. I only got a legal spot because it seems that about 30% of the people who take the bus don't work on Fridays...and I despise them for that.


I boarded the bus and was glad to see that I didn't have to sit in front of "the two cattiest women on the face of the planet" to sit in my favorite seat. They were sitting across the aisle from me instead. I have to tell you...these women are incredible in their ability to pick apart anyone and everything. It's a true talent...or curse, some might say.

So, heere are these suburban housewives in their summery skirted outfits that were purchased in the grown-up Garanimals section and their tennis shoes leafing through the most recent In Style magazine. They're talking about how this celebrity "has a horse face" and how this celebrity "doesn't even look like herself anymore" and "look at her butt!!!" I just wanted to poke the one lady sitting on the aisle and say, "listen, you're certainly not all that and a bag of chips yourself...so maybe you should just can it." BUT I didn't, I actually kept my mouth shut and kept reading my sleazy paperback.

It really reminded me of how catty I can be sometimes too....talking bad about others when I'm not that good myself...it doesn't make me look better, for sure.

Hope ya'll have a great weekend! I'm headed out from work early as we're closing down shop early and headed to a great tapas bar in town...for sangria and appetizers!!! Woot!! Sometimes I do love my job. ;-)

Overheard in our house....

Sunday afternoon, Shooter and I were hanging out eating grilled hotdogs and watching Giada's Weekend Adventures show on the Food Network - she was exploring Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Our hotdogs were fabulous...they were the big fat juicy Hebrew National dogs. YUM!

Well, back to my point...here's a snippet of the conversation we had....

To set this up...Giada is out on a horseback ride in the morning...beautiful panoramic shots of the scenery abound....on screen, Giada says, "Wow, look at this big sky! It's gorgeous out here!"

In a very sarcastic voice, I say "Well, gee, Giada...why do you think they call Wyoming "Big Sky Country"?" :roll eyes:

Shooter pauses mid-bite, gives me the "Jim Halpert face" from The Office (see entry for October 24 - the whole blog is a riot and you should read it!) and then says, "Honey, they call Montana "Big Sky Country."

Me: Really? Hmm...I guess you're right. Well, they should call Wyoming that too. It's all the same anyway.


My sincerest apologies to everyone from Wyoming and Montana...I know it's not all the same. You're two very distinct states. Please accept my apologies and admission of my geographic ignorance. hehe!

Overheard in my house.....

I was on the phone with my Mom tonight and here's a snippet of our conversation:

Mom: "So, when you cook with liquor, the alcohol cooks out, right?"

Me: "Yup, just leaves flavor with no alcohol. What ya making?"

Mom: "Your dad came home with a recipe for tequila enchilada chicken. I thought it sounded good but didn't want us getting all tipsy from it."

Me: "Mom...there's no way."

Mom: "I guess I'll have to get your Dad to go into the liquor store and get me some tequila."

Me: "Why? Can't you go in and get yourself some?"

Mom: "Lord, no! I haven't ever been in a liquor store before. I wouldn't know what to do. Besides, what if the Lord came and I was buying tequila. I'd have to stand before the Lord in heaven with a tequila bottle in my hand. And how would that look?"

Me: "Mom, seriously, you're kidding right?"

Mom: "No! You know that's the way I was raised. And you were raised that way too. Remember, better never do anything that you'd be ashamed of if the Lord came back."

Me: "Oh yea, the mantra that kept me out of SO MUCH trouble as a kid."

Mom: "Well, it worked on me. You know, I could go next door and ask for some tequila...I bet they have some!!! hahahhaa!!!" (inside joke here that I can't share)

Me: "Yea! It'd be like asking for sugar. 'So, how about letting me borrow a cup of tequila...I'm sure you have plenty!!' hahaha!!"

Mom: "Oh well...guess we'll go to the Home and Garden show and then hit the liquor store on the way home. I'm making the chicken next week, I'll let you know how it turns out."

Me: "Okay, thanks Mom! By the way...I wouldn't ask the neighbor for tequila...they might shoot you."

Mom: "Yea, the thought had crossed my mind."

Overheard in the house....

This conversation was overheard in our home.


Me: "Honey, you awake"

Shooter: "Yes"

Me: "Ugh...I'm awake."

Shooter: "Why?!?! It's like 2 in the morning."

Me: "Honey, it's 5:30"

Shooter: "Hmm. Okay. Go back to sleep. I love these pillows."

Me: "Okay...we going to the 2nd service this morning then?"

Shooter: "Yea, whatever."

Me: "I'm cold, maybe I should get up and turn the heat up."

Shooter: "Yea, whatever."

Me: "Wait...when you came to bed, did you turn off the ceiling fan?"

Shooter: "I don't know. I don't think so."

Me: "Well, that's probably why I'm cold. Would you get up and turn it off?"

Shooter: "No."

Me: "Fine...I'll just snuggle up with the dogs and get warm."

Shooter: "Is that your foot?"

Me: "No."

Shooter: "OH NO! I just kicked Leah (our female schnauzer) in the head."

Me: "Oh...so you were going to kick me in the foot?"

Shooter: "Well, no, well, okay, yes. Can we just go back to sleep?"

Me: "Okay...but you better apologize to Leah for kicking her in the head."

Shooter: "Yea, whatever."