Monday, May 4, 2009

Am I really ready?

Whew...is it really Monday again? I mean, seriously....where do these weeks keep going....because I'm kinda ready for them to slow down a bit!

Today marks 30 weeks in my pregnancy with Parker. I'm just amazed and flabbergasted to be honest. For the longest time I never saw myself as a mother. I wasn't really the nuturing kind and Shooter and I were dealing with our own issues and trying to keep our rocky marriage afloat. This was for a big majority of our (close to be) 10 year marriage.

Suddenly, however, Christmas 2007 marked a change for both Shooter and I. We felt different and we felt like we were ready to be parents. We have grown up, our marriage had grown up and we were ready for an additional family member. Becoming parents kinda remained an idea we were ready for but seemed so far off as we kept trying....month after month. It was something we wanted but couldn't really grasp.

In November 2008 we found ourselves faced with the reality of becoming parents. There were the first three months where we were scared senseless that we'd lose our precious baby. Then the second three months where we were scared senseless that something would be wrong with our precious son. Now I'm in the last of the three months and reality is seriously hitting me...I'm going to be a mother!!!!

Today begins our 10 week countdown to Parker's due date and I'm beginning to find myself overwhelmed with all that lies ahead of me. I'm a list person but I have avoided making a list when it comes to what we need to do to get the nursery ready. I just don't want to face it...so I'm ignoring it. That's my way. :-) Luckily my Mother isn't and she's devising a plan as we speak for keeping me on track. She's so ready for her grandson to get here she just about can't see straight. She's spurring me on toward making the list that I need to create and then start working it.

So here goes:

* Clean out closet in nursery - donate appropriate items and trash the rest
* Buy shelf liner for drawers in nursery dressers
* Write thank you notes
* Clean out guest room and move appropriate items to sunroom/kitchen/master bedroom
* Organize the top of the linen closet
* Buy shelves for the nursery
* Buy bookcase for the nursery
* Decide if I'm doing Parker's name in wood letters for the wall in nursery
* Organize master bedroom closet - make room for clothes in storage
* Find coordinating tablecloths and valances for kitchen
* Wash sheers in living and dining room
* Clean out the garage - donate appropriate items and trash the rest
* Get my "Go Bag" ready for the hospital

I know this is only scratching the surface. This is just the stuff I need to do AT HOME. This doesn't count all the stuff I have to do at work to get ready to be out for 14 weeks. Okay...I'm getting hysterical just thinking about it.....gotta do some deep breathing and calm down. I have 10 weeks to go...we can get this all accomplished....I can do it! :-)

Am I really ready? I don't know....I'm pretty sure I'm not...but I'm as ready as I can be....as ready as you can ever be.

L.

5 comments:

April said...

Congrats on hitting the 30 week mark! That is so exciting! I'm "catching up" to you. Heh. Four more weeks to go and I'll be there.

It cracks me up how all of us preggo ladies are in panic, list-making mode now. It's getting crazy!!

J and J Acres said...

I think April nailed it... all you pregnant blogging ladies are making lists like your life depends on it! :)

And I don't think the feeling of 'so much to do' will go away for another 18 years now! :)

Shawna said...

I'm rolling into week 30 myself and getting a bit paranoid about everything I have left to do! Reading about what you have to do to get ready to take time off work hit home for me...I have not even started thinking about that and it's around the corner! YIKES!! LOL!

bekah said...

I was having a meltdown the other day, and I said "I want to be mom, and I already love this baby so much, but am I really ready??"

My mom said...no. You are never 'ready' to be a parent, but it is a gift from God and you will excel at motherhood. You will learn as you go. It wont be perfect, you wont be perfect, but you will love your baby.

That helped. Shes a smart lady...and a great mom if I can brag a little.

You will be a GREAT mom, you will make mistakes, you will forget to do certain things, but your son will forever know that his mommy loves him with all her heart.

kittyconcerto.com said...

Except for the whole marriage part, I could have written this post myself! I'm starting to freak out! And the list seems unending. We just finished repainting and doing our dinning room and now we are onto our bedroom. We are manic people with a mission. Sounds like you are too!

I know its scary (because I'm scared), but once it hits us, I'm sure it will feel just like everybody says. That they couldn't imagine their lives without their kids.

Deep breath!