All I wanted was to take a pee.....

Okay...I know I've mentioned on many other occasions how I will wake up ramdomly to one of my dogs vomiting in the bed or wake up to poo on the floor of the sunroom in the morning. Wel....let me just tell you about this morning....

As background - we are currently dog sitting our friends' pup Korby. Korby is the cute lil ball of fur who is 6 months old and a Pomeranian. Korby gets excited and piddles in little places all over my house. He's not used to living with other dogs so he gets all kinds of excited at random times of the day. Mostly it's at 6:30am when Shooter's leaving for work and I'm in the middle of getting ready and he's sitting on the bed. He pee'd on Shooter's side of the bed twice this week. Ugh. So last night Shooter decides that Korby will sleep on the floor rather than in the bed with us. Suits him fine as he'll sleep about anywhere.

So - about 4:00am this morning I get up to go pee and shuffle my way to the bathroom because I certainly don't want to step on lil Korby. I take two steps into the bathroom and scream, "Holy Sh*t!" I land on the toilet and then mumble, "Yep, that's a pretty good assessment. Damn dog." Shooter wakes up and says, "What's the problem?" I'm still sitting in the dark mind you - "I just stepped in Korby's crap!" He gets up and turns on the light, and believe me, that did nothing to improve my disposition. We then notice that cute lil Korby has pee'd in the bathroom too...I think my pretty blueish-greenish rugs remind him of the great outdoors. Shooter and I fight our gag reflexes to clean up the poo - let me tell you, my gag reflex is darn hard to fight at 4am.

We get everyone settled and I head back to bed and as I am crawling under the covers I look at my pillow. I just stand there and stare for a few seconds and Shooter asks me what's wrong. I'm all like, just look - would you? He looks and starts to laugh, hysterically mind you. Apparently while all the drama was unfolding in the bathroom over Korby's lack of bodily control, Morey decided that he was so traumatized and couldn't believe we'd held back on the vomiting that he'd vomit for us. Yup, folks, he laid a big old pile of vomit right on my pillow. All I could say was that I was glad it wasn't my favorite expensive pillow.

Side note - I mentioned to Shooter I was glad it wasn't my favorite pillow because I was going to have to throw that one away. He was all like, why do you have to throw it away? I just looked at him like he had three heads. I asked him if he'd sleep on it after Moe had thrown up all over it, and he said that he guessed he understood. Geesh....men....

Anyway....the god's were conspiring to make this a day where I vomited, I could tell. I don't vomit...I haven't vomited in almost two years...since that fateful Halloween night two years ago. I have a Seinfeld like streak that I refuse to break.

Okay...I gotta run and sip some ginger ale and eat Saltines...I've made myself nauseaous just writing this post....good luck reading it...

Later lovelies!
L.

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Here is a picture of the pup who is a constant thorn in my side, er, I mean loveliest houseguest ever. (please excuse the demon eyes, my blackberry doesn't seem to know how to not make everyone look possessed)

There May Be Bugs On Some Of You Mugs.....

Okay....so I took Morey and Leah off to the vet yesterday. All's going well UNTIL I get the dreaded phone call....the one where they try adding lots of things onto your bill that you and the dogs don't really want/need.

Well....this is how the phone call went:

"Hello, this is Laura"
"Mrs. B? This is XXXX from your veterinarian's office. I'm just calling in regards to Morey."
"Okay...is everything allright with him?"
"Oh, yes, he's fine. However, we wanted to see if you wanted us to perform their dental today, because they REALLY need it."
"No, I will call back in a couple of weeks to have that done, but thanks for asking."
"Well, I also wanted to address your concern of Morey's licking and scratching excessively. In doing our exam, we DID FIND two fleas on him. Were you aware that Morey had fleas?"
"Well, no, I wasn't aware he had two fleas on him. He is due for his Advantix, so I guess he probably picked them up in the yard this morning."
"Do you HAVE any flea control or should we add some to your bill today?"
"No, I have some at home, just need to put it on him. Did Dr. B take a look at Morey's rear where he had the scaly patches?"
"Yes, he said it must be a reaction to the rabies vaccination."
"But, didn't you just give him the rabies vaccination? He's been biting at that spot for two weeks."
"Oh, well, Dr. B. wants you to give them both baths tonight and then put the flea/tick medication on tomorrow - hopefully that will take care of the itching and scratching."
"Alright. Thanks."
"So, how are you on heartworm medication? Have you been giving that to them?"
"Yes, we are diligent about giving them their heartworm medication and I'm fine with that too."
"Alright, well Dr. B. will talk to you about what steps you need to take with them when you come to pick them up."
"Okay, thanks."

I mean, seriously....I got scolded for one of my dogs having TWO fleas on him......TWO little bitty teeny weeny fleas. Not an infestation. Not a colony. TWO!!!! Ugh...sometimes I despise the vet.

Later, lovelies!

L.

Overheard in the house....

This conversation was overheard in our home.


Me: "Honey, you awake"

Shooter: "Yes"

Me: "Ugh...I'm awake."

Shooter: "Why?!?! It's like 2 in the morning."

Me: "Honey, it's 5:30"

Shooter: "Hmm. Okay. Go back to sleep. I love these pillows."

Me: "Okay...we going to the 2nd service this morning then?"

Shooter: "Yea, whatever."

Me: "I'm cold, maybe I should get up and turn the heat up."

Shooter: "Yea, whatever."

Me: "Wait...when you came to bed, did you turn off the ceiling fan?"

Shooter: "I don't know. I don't think so."

Me: "Well, that's probably why I'm cold. Would you get up and turn it off?"

Shooter: "No."

Me: "Fine...I'll just snuggle up with the dogs and get warm."

Shooter: "Is that your foot?"

Me: "No."

Shooter: "OH NO! I just kicked Leah (our female schnauzer) in the head."

Me: "Oh...so you were going to kick me in the foot?"

Shooter: "Well, no, well, okay, yes. Can we just go back to sleep?"

Me: "Okay...but you better apologize to Leah for kicking her in the head."

Shooter: "Yea, whatever."

Anatomy of a Schnauzer

Okay...more crazy pictures of my fabulous puppies....

We call Morey "Mr. Velvet Ears" because he has the softest, silkiest ears.

This is Morey's tail....it grows so funny. As his fur grows out, he gets this fan growing that makes him look like he's part retriever or something. Quite funny. About now he's also demanding a neatening of his sanitary cut...he's not one who appreciates the occasional dingleberry.

Ahhh...da nose....but whose nose is it?

Oh my....one of the cutest things in the world....a schnauzer butt. I don't know why, but they are. This is Leah, and her funky tail. For some reason the groomers can't get her cooperation when it comes time to trim her tail, so they leave it. Sooooo...about a week or two after a grooming she has a tail that looks like she's growing an afro on her butt. The fur on her tail is still really wiry and coarse and just poofs right up. Personally I am enamored with the way their fur grows on their butts...those cute little curley cues...hehehe...

The ear....unlike her brother's ears, Leah's are cropped. We adopted her at the age of three so we didn't do that to her. Personally, I am a huge fan of the natural ear...we call them flops in our house. Morey ended up with the perfect floppy ears.

Leah's also a burrower. Must be the ratter instinct in her. She likes to sleep under the covers down by my feet, until she gets too hot and emerges around midnight panting so hard she wakes us up. This particular morning, I woke up and found her with her entire body under Shooter's pillows and laying on her back (as usual).

The party is over....

*ugh*

I sit at home, with my pups, wallowing in a mountain of self pity and laundry. Today is my last day of vacation. I go back t owork tomorrow. I have been on vacation since December 20th. That's two whole weeks. It makes it VERY difficult to think of going back to the office. However, should anyone come and try to take me away earlier than scheduled, I have my watchdogs in place.

They'll eagerly jump on you and lick you to death if you try to come and take me away. I promise it...so don't come if you're allergic to doggie slobber. Really, they're mean, very mean, they'll bite your toes off. Well, okay, maybe not...but they'll tear your socks off and run away with them.

They're really excellent watchdogs. Really, REALLY good....

Well, okay, I'm off to finish my laundry and somehow mentally prepare myself to be an adult and go back to work and earn an honest living. Who am I kidding....an adult...pshaw!